Last year in February, my two-month-old marriage (which was preceded by six years of dating) was sinking and I had also miscarried a few weeks ago. All this was taxing for me and I got diagnosed with severe depression and was on tranquilizers. On one hand, I had to keep a check on my physical health and on the other I had to confront my accusing husband and in-laws who believed the worst about me and subjected my parents to verbal mistreatment too along with me. There was so much happening around me that I didn’t have it in me to go back to my psychiatrist who had previously prescribed medicines for sleep and my sudden breathlessness because of my marital woes, or for the counseling he recommended. I had completely given up on – myself, my life, and others. I had suicidal thoughts and no courage to think further about my life. I just felt pain and wished it all ended. Waking up every morning was a struggle and to face the world was nothing less of a battle with myself. I would be laughing hard about something one moment and the next would want me to run away and burst in tears. I would feel something pricking in me and suddenly go numb. Emotions would abruptly slap me without a warning. There were sudden gushes of sadness, worthlessness, guiltiness, anger, emptiness, and a feeling of wanting to put an end to life on a regular basis. That’s when I realized this wasn’t me. The toxic relationship I was in had already put me through trauma and the fact that it was ending made it worse. My work was the only thing keeping me sane. I decided to take counseling. Since I was not able to visit a counselor in person I took online sessions. I came across Arva S., a Certified Psychological and Emotional Wellbeing Practitioner @First Step Healing Services who took an online/in session assessment. She said I was in severe depression and that I would need over ten sessions of therapy.
From the very first time I poured my heart out to Arva, I started feeling lighter. She listened calmly and that gave me confidence I could come out of the phase I was in. Over the next sessions, we discussed what I wanted to achieve by the end of the therapy and all of it was achieved. She helped me understand coping strategies, how I could be patient with my emotions and let them pass rather than simply distract myself to watch the overwhelming emotions coming back to me eventually. It took me around 45 days to be able to get my equilibrium back.
My coping strategy first was to acknowledge the situations of my life. I was introduced to mindfulness meditation by Arva to calm the tornadoes in my mind. Meditation meant sitting in a place silently by just focusing on the thoughts my mind brings, and not participating in it consciously. My mind being the over thinker it was, flashed the scariest situations with every if, but, why, why not, which were possible. I did continue to meditate and followed the Law of Attraction techniques which helped. Also, Arva taught some more techniques of gratitude and forgiveness that made me see things differently. My coping strategy then advanced to being able to talk of the crisis I went through. Being patient with my emotions and myself was the biggest learning and the most difficult one. Fast forward to the end of 2019, my coping strategy progressed to being able to joke and laugh about that one episode of life that shook me from within, but with lessons learnt for a lifetime.
Today, my divorce is still pending in the court. But I know what triggers me or makes me anxious. I have my coping strategies in place as learnt in the counseling sessions. I know I have healed from the wounds that my toxic relationship left me with. I feel confident about myself now and facing life challenges. But more than anything, the last one and half years has taught me to be vocal about mental health as much as we are for physical health. I was lucky to have my family and friends to support me while I was diagnosed and recovering from depression. I am much more empowered today and I would say that a good therapist at such times really helps. Post my therapy sessions as well, Arva has checked in on me regularly to follow up on my well-being.
Copyright: First Step Healing Services
Phone: 8355881226
Insta/FB: fshealingservices
First Step Healing Services 